Hello and welcome to Two Hearts True Healing! I am your host Jacinta Wick. This is Season Two Belonging a Father’s Authority Episode four, Standing. You know what? Belonging is a very important topic for us women. If our tanks are not full, nobody’s happy. You know the saying, if Mamma ain’t happy nobody is happy. There is a lot of truth to this saying. How can we give ourselves to the demands of daily life if we do not rest in the presence of God first and then the male leaders in our life? I hope in this episode to give us women a few pointers in how God intends us to belong and have purpose so we can give out of the fullness of love instead of from the empty tank where everyone gets fumes from the tank versus gallons of the gasoline of love.

Remember in the last episode we talked about the differences between a male and female brain? Last episode we talked primarily of how the male tank is supposed to work and the wiring of a male brain in comparison to a female brain.  Waffles and Spaghetti. Let’s look at the Spaghetti of the female brain and how we need stillness to process versus the man needing activity to awaken. As women we are constantly in motion thinking about the long to-do list that needs to get done, as we are juggling our job and those we live with in community and how each relation in that community needs tailored love from us and needs different things. For me that is going to look different from you. I am speaking to you from my experience of being a wife and stay-at-home mom and homeschool educator and home-maker. We women are busy multitaskers by nature and a little scatter-brained because so much is going through our minds and the fruit of our brains by living it out in our actions.

Let’s turn to 1 Corinthians 15:1-11. Now I remind you, brethren, in what terms I preached to you the gospel, which you received, in which you stand, by which you are saved, if you hold it fast–unless you believed in vain. It all boils down to what we have received. Being steadfast to our post in great faith. Otherwise it is an empty existence. All vain-glory. We can’t put all the pressure on our men to fill us up. We have to put our attention on the salvation we have been given by Christ and hold fast to that. Again the key word is receive. We cannot just rashly jump forward as is our tendency but receive direction from the Lord. Remember the three L’s of manhood? Leadership, Lordship, and Love? We have to let the male roles in our life give these to us. Don’t believe me? Turn to Genesis 3:16 To the woman he said, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children, yet your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you. We need to keep going in the 1 Corithians passage. It is primarily about the resurrection and power of Jesus. In him being the leader of faith and passing on that authority to the Apostles and it being handed down to the presbyters and their role of leadership and pastoring. God took on all the burden of the consequences of sin and laid out a specific pathway for sanctification.

Let’s turn to the gospel passage John 19:25-27. We have a model of womanhood in Mary. Her story as Mother of Sorrows is very key in our understanding of how to live out our vocation. We all have children either spiritual or physical or a combination of both. In pain we bring them forth and in pain we continue birthing them spiritually in our raising them. With that pain is our sanctification. It becomes a labor of love. The curse of eden is our blessing to grow. So the soldiers did this. But standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother, and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, you son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. Woah! Woah! If the Mother of God was asked to share in the cup of suffering of her son by Simeon’s foretelling of a sword of sorrow, how can we not expect to also be pierced by a sword?  What did Mary do? She held these in her heart and by doing that Christ gave her a new mission. To be our mother. The disciple not named in this gospel stands in our place. He took her into his home. He is not named on purpose because by tradition he is using a literary technique for us to insert ourselves here. We are disciples and we are to take her into our home.

What does this all mean?  Remember how I said the man needs to crucify himself for his family? The woman has to stand by her man like Mary. We share the same mission (submissio, under the same mission) as our authoritative head and need to rest in the security of knowing we are seen and loved and cherished and died for in our man’s love of us. His battle becomes ours. Compassio suffering with. Compassion. Yes, maybe we feel that we know it better and have a better intuition about something but we have to lay ourselves aside and let our authoritative head give us Leadership, Lordship, and Love. But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I, but the grace of God which is with me. Whether then it was I or they, so we preach and so you believed. (1 Cor 15:10-11) Our faith must be strong. The man is the head but we are the heart. The heart does direct the mind but we must let the mind run with it. Our role is to invite that leadership, lordship, and love into our lives. Even if we think we have it all, we have to let go and let grace. That is hard for us because we want to be right and we want to lead but it is a partnership of grace. God ordained this to be so and so we must believe and rest secure in the knowledge that we can and should be led by grace, putting ourselves aside and what we selfishly want. Otherwise it is a false security and that never gets us anywhere. It doesn’t matter if you are single or married or are a religious sister. It is still the same.

God puts into our lives the role of authority. Whether it is in our father, male friend, male relative, romantic boyfriend, spiritual father, or superior, it is still the same. Spiritually before God, we need the net of protection He gives us because we can easily be led astray by the many emotions and perceptions and ideologies like Eve. We are constantly letting emotions rule the roost and because man by his nature is more no-nonsense we need his objectivity and calmness. Women can be so catty but that is a false security. We say a lot but our tongues need to be controlled. We need to regulate our emotions. We need to listen. Words aren’t always necessary. But standing is necessary. Accompanying in love. Sharing in the suffering of someone else.

God gave us man, so that we can have something to rest securely in. We need this desperately. The secret, though, is putting that security first on the Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit. Because our man is weak, and we will be let down by him at times that is just natural. God will never leave us or forsake us. He gave Mary St. Joseph. And Saint Joseph needed both Jesus and Mary. God gave Saint Joseph a special charism and direction by an angel and so he was able to live supernatural virtue to guide and direct. Most of what we have on Saint Joseph is tradition because never once are his words mentioned in scripture. But that is on purpose because it is the action of God that we are supposed to see. So it is in all men. St. Joseph is the model of obedience.  But Mary’s words were recorded. What do we see? Listening, Faith, Invitation, Reception, Submission, Theotokos (God Bearer), Humility, Holding, Standing, and Charity. Holiness for us looks very different but it is not better or worse or harder or easier. The most important thing is cooperation with grace. If we both are looking in the right direction progress is made and love is whole. We grow and change together, each helping the other to peace and lasting happiness, which God wants to give us. We have fruitfulness by our united love in so many ways. That is what God intends for us.

Three final things. 1)Psalm 118 is to close our prayer with these passages, O give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; his mercy endures for ever! (I forgot to mention the psalm for the last episode and that is Psalm 78). An attitude of gratitude always helps and keeping in mind the Lord’s Mercy. 2)Look and pray with the Litany of Saint Joseph to see better the role of the male and 3) as a closing I want to give to you the Stabat Mater. (Standing Mother)

At the cross her station keeping,

Stood the mournful Mother weeping,

Close to Jesus to the last.

Through her heart, his sorrow sharing,

All his bitter anguish bearing,

Now at length the sword had passed.

Oh, how sad and sore distressed

Was that Mother highly blessed

Of the sole begotten One!

Christ above in torment hangs,

She beneath beholds the pangs

Of her dying, glorious Son.

Is there one who would not weep,

‘Whelmed in miseries so deep,

Christ’s dear Mother to behold?

Can the human heart refrain

From partaking in her pain,

In that mother’s pain untold?

Bruised, derided, cursed, defiled,

She beheld her tender Child,

All with bloody scourges rent.

For the sins of his own nation

Saw him hang in desolation

Till his spirit forth he sent.

O sweet Mother! font of love,

Touch my spirit from above,

Make my heart with yours accord.

Make me feel as you have felt;

Make my soul to glow and melt

With the love of Christ, my Lord.

Holy Mother, pierce me through,

In my heart each wound renew

Of my Savior crucified.

Let me share with you his pain,

Who for all our sins was slain,

Who for me in torments died.

Let me mingle tears with you,

Mourning him who mourned for me,

All the days that I may live.

By the cross with you to stay,

There with you to weep and pray,

Is all I ask of you to give.

Virgin of all virgins blest!

Listen to my fond request:

Let me share your grief divine.

Let me to my latest breath,

In my body bear the death

Of that dying Son of yours.

Wounded with his every wound,

Steep my soul till it has swooned

In his very Blood away.

Be to me, O Virgin, nigh,

Lest in flames I burn and die,

In his awful judgment day.

Christ, when you shall call me hence,

Be your Mother my defense,

Be your cross my victory.

While my body here decays,

May my soul your goodness praise,

Safe in heaven eternally.

Amen. (Alleluia)

If something touched you, share it with a friend and bring them on board. I would also love to hear from you at twoheartstruehealing@outlook.com. We are also on FaceBook and on the web www.twoheartstruehealing.com and YouTube so stay tuned. Thank you for listening and know I am holding you. Until next time, God Bless!